I've got a bone to pick, so strong langued rant in

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 07/21/2014 at 20:23 • Filed to: rant

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Partial Zero Emissions Vehicles. Fuck the dumb fucking dipshit who came up with that term. PZEV badges are applied to all sorts of cars today and guess what it actually means:

This vehicle category was created as part of a bargain with the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! (CARB), so that the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! manufacturers could postpone producing mandated !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! (ZEVs), which will require the production of !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! or hydrogen !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! vehicles.

The vehicles constructed to meet the PZEV requirements must achieve both SULEV ( !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ) exhaust emissions and zero evaporative (fuel system) emissions. The SULEV standard is designed to be even more rigorous than the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! standard or !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! standard. Various techniques are used to reduce pollution in these vehicles. All emissions-related components must be warrantied for 15-years or 150,000-miles. This includes the electric propulsion components of a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

(Wikipedia)

In other words, it's a fucking state government sponsored copout. Because your car meets CARB standards you get a little gold star! EVERY-FUCKING-ONE GETS A GOLD STAR!!!! Except for the name makes no sense at all! You can't have partially zero of anything. You have emissions or you don't. That's it. Fuck, if I turn off my car at a stop, it's now producing no emissions, can I have a ZEV credit for not leaving my car running at night?

Manuél Ferrari > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/21/2014 at 20:26

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You can have partial zero. It's math bruh.

1/4 of 0 equals... Oh wait, nevermind...

Nibby > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/21/2014 at 20:28

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Hey, my family's Forester is PZEV and apparently it makes 4hp MOAR than the regular one. Proof that stickers and badges do add hp.

LappingLuke > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/21/2014 at 20:28

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Fuck I hate this too it makes me so crazy every time I see it.

ly2v8-Brian > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/21/2014 at 20:28

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That acronym irritates me a lot too. Especially the Partial Zero part.

Chris Clarke > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/21/2014 at 20:29

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norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/21/2014 at 20:38

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ah the good ole PZEV (read as you would say if it was a real word. So Pazev)

saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/21/2014 at 20:40

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My dad asked me what this meant the other day, and I explained what the acronym stood for, but then he asked me what that meant.

Yeah, I had no idea.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/21/2014 at 20:56

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My Fiat 500 is a PZEV vehicle. It produces absolutely Zero emissions when it is parked and the engine is off.....Does that count?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 07/21/2014 at 20:57

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Does it have an evaporative emissions canister?

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/21/2014 at 20:58

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I couldn't begin to tell you. As far as I know it is powered by pixies and unicorn farts. (I'm not much of a mechanic, as you can tell)

Leadbull > Manuél Ferrari 07/21/2014 at 21:07

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If -[emissions],

then [emissions] = i^[emissions]

Boom. Imaginary emissions.

Manuél Ferrari > Leadbull 07/21/2014 at 21:08

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I don't understand it

But I believe you

Because you are Leadbull

Leadbull > Manuél Ferrari 07/21/2014 at 21:12

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I don't understand it, either.

I got a C+ in freshman level College Algebra.

Manuél Ferrari > Leadbull 07/21/2014 at 21:13

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Me too!!

Leadbull > Manuél Ferrari 07/21/2014 at 21:17

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We're destined for greatness, you and I.

Manuél Ferrari > Leadbull 07/21/2014 at 21:19

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I heard George Bush got C's in college. So we might run the world one day.

Leadbull > Manuél Ferrari 07/21/2014 at 21:23

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To be fair, he got Cs at Yale...

YEAH MAN, LET'S FREE THE CRAP OUTTA SOME MIDDLE EASTERN NATIONS!

Manuél Ferrari > Leadbull 07/21/2014 at 21:29

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Whoo hooo!

Our first act - to free Dubai's supercars from that awful climate and bring them home

Leadbull > Manuél Ferrari 07/21/2014 at 21:30

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...and store them in our garages from safekeeping.

Manuél Ferrari > Leadbull 07/21/2014 at 21:34

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We shall build new and undisclosed garages for ourselves. Must protect the cars.

ffoc02 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/21/2014 at 21:34

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Don't get me wrong, it's definitely all semantics, but it's been explained to be this way.

A PZEV vehicle produces fewer total emissions than would be produced by a comparable electric vehicle, if that electric vehicle was charged exclusively by power generated at a modern coal power plant.

Ford has been using this nomenclature since the 03 model year. Fortunately, Ford didn't really get into baking their cars as such. Honestly, to a consumer the PZEV warranty is huge. It covers a wide range of parts for the full 15yrs/150,000mi. Had a friend with an 06 Fusion, 145k mi, just got a brand new thermostat (an emissions part, I guess) for free.

Leadbull > Manuél Ferrari 07/21/2014 at 21:36

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I hear the White House basement is pretty cavernous.

Vimto > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/21/2014 at 21:41

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Okay, so what do you propose they call it, when they've already gotten to Super Ultra Low? Mega Super Ultra Low?

The Compromiser > Vimto 07/21/2014 at 22:17

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double secret probation emissions. Its a little known codicil in the charter.

Garrett Davis > ffoc02 07/22/2014 at 01:08

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The actual purpose and the program itself is not the issue, it's the name that makes absolutely no sense.

thebigbossyboss > ffoc02 07/28/2014 at 08:51

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What? All the what? Ford has a 150,000 mile warranty?

Because of partial zero's?

thebigbossyboss > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 07/28/2014 at 08:53

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AAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDD

You can not have a partial zero. WTF is a partial zero. Zero isn't divisible, NOR can it be the denominator.

Partial zero is zero because zero only has one part. Zero.

ffoc02 > thebigbossyboss 07/28/2014 at 16:37

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Anything that CARB declares an emissions component is covered under the PZEV emissions warranty, as long a the vehicle is in a state that recognizes CA emissions.